An open letter to the ‘nice guy’ who tried to hit me because I stopped him from taking home a drunk girl who was begging him to leave her alone (or: why you should never ask a poet if she’s really an ugly cocksucker or if that’s just her day job):
The thing is, everyone assumes that by taking away our rights, you make us weak.
In reality, just the opposite occurs. We are used to the sling of insults - there is nothing you can say that hasn’t already been said to me. We are used constantly being on the outlook for our aggressor - so yes, I can spot an asshole from across the room and it’s because I often have to.
The thing is: you are making our skins thicker and our spines stronger than anyone who doesn’t have to put up with the shit that we do. We are the same generation that can wear pretty dresses and cut up your corpse in the same moment: because trust me, we know how to get blood out of our clothing.
You think women are little helpless flowers but I know at least a quarter of my lady friends with self-defense classes under their belts, at least half who can fight their way out of a chokehold with nothing but their carkeys like daggers in their fists, at least three-fourths who are so used to any kind of slur you can throw at them that they have four witty comebacks just resting on their backburners, and all of them - all of them - are baptized in the fire of another person’s violation, whether verbal or otherwise. You are not making the submissive housewives or the shy secretaries of your wet dreams. You have made dragons.
You have made mothers with sharp teeth who can balance eight different tasks and still remember your favorite dinner. You have made CEOs who do better work because they’re used to being told they’re sub-par. You are making artists and poets and musicians who’ve seen the dark in the world. You are making social justice warriors - I use this not as a defamation but as a banner, as the way they brand themselves because it is a battle, isn’t it, and nobody’s come out without their share of scars - you are making a generation of caustically beautiful ladies who have seen more shit by six a.m. than you have all your life and they still walk better in heels than you do in your boat shoes.
We do not invite your ‘nice guy’ into our beds, you’re right, because the nice guys of our lives have been our fathers asking us if we ‘are really going out in that,’ have been our best friend telling us that his girlfriend should give up sex because he’s paid for dinner, have been our uncles and brothers and the great gentlemen who hang out of their cars and laugh when the thirteen-year-old they just honked at jumps and looks terrified (but should totally accept the compliment as if it was a gift instead of the moment she recognizes she’s never going to be safe) -
you wanna know why we don’t let nice men into our beds? Because we rarely find them.
They’re out there, I know it, but they’re not the ones wetting themselves when a woman asks ‘why do you think that?’ instead of sitting back and letting him laugh with his buddies about femi-nazis. They’re out there and they’re probably as pissed as we are that at least one third of their population has openly admitted there are times when they think it’s okay to force their significant other to have sex: they’re out there, and the sad thing is, if you’re a male, you’re statistically not one of them. As far as we know, you don’t exist. You are a white knight only you believe in.
Here’s the thing about forcing people down: eventually they’re going to get strong enough to push right on back, and when you’ve spent the whole time sitting on your ass sinking your teeth into your healthy wage gap, you’re not going to be ready for it.
You’ve hurt us, over and over. When the time comes for us to hurt back, do you know how many of us are going to ask ‘Where was the mercy when I was begging like he is now? Where was that mercy when I got pregnant? Where was that mercy when I was called selfish for being a single parent? Where was that mercy when he forced himself on me? Where was that mercy, in anything?’
The thing about oppression is that it can only last for so long. You are not making yourself dominant, you’re making yourself weak. I’ve seen men crumble because they feel uncomfortable when they get hit on by other men as if the stench of their own mistakes is strangling them. I’ve seen them get impassioned because a teacher preferred females and I’ve laughed because I had eight other classes where it was reversed and in all of those eight, it went uncontested. I have legitimately punched a boy who said that a show for girls was shameful because it tries to teach lessons instead of catering to his desire for sex - as if just by liking something, he owns it. I’ve seen boys growl about women’s history month and had to wonder if they’ve ever held a textbook where the only names of girls are tiny footnotes. I’ve seen fathers ask why the curriculum I use for my six-year-olds is carefully gender neutral, why I let his son play at cooking or his daughter be a doctor.
I have never heard a mother complain except to beg me to get her little girl to talk more, to do more, to succeed - do you see? Do you see?
Here’s the thing about stepping on us: we have learned to stop licking your boots
and now we want to ruin you.
trust me, I know actual nice guys and they are nothing like your type. p.s your fly was down the whole time. /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)
This just in, dragons are a new symbol of femininity and I am down for that.
WHEN I SAY “YOUR FAVES COULD NEVER” OR “WHEN WILL UR FAVE” ABOUT BEYONCE IM NOT JOKING IM NOT SAYING IT TO BE FUNNY OR IRONIC LIKE I REALLY WANNA KNOW WHEN ANY SINGER WILL BE ABLE TO COME OUT AND TAKE OVER ITUNES LIKE THIS WITH NO WARNING OR PROMO AND COMPLETELY JUST ANNIHILATE EVERYTHING GODDAMn
So as this is likely the first government shutdown in the memory of most if not all of the people posting here on tumblr (I was 8 in 1995), it might be helpful to refresh our memories on what exactly is going to happen when the federal government doesn’t have a budget.
800,000federal employees have to go home. There’s no money to pay them, and coming to work on a volunteer basis gets into some tricky legal areas. While in the past they have successfully lobbied for back pay, there’s no guarantee of it with a divided congress.
Air-traffic controllers will remain on duty. ATCs are government employees, but they are members of the 2-million odd employees that are marked as “essential”. They likely will not receive paychecks, however, until the shutdown ends.
Airport delays. While the FAA’s security screeners are essential employees, many of the people who work to support them logistically are not.
Visa applications and fees will continue to be processed, and foreign embassies and consulates remain open. So if you’re waiting on a visa application, don’t worry, it’s still in the works - though again, it’ll almost certainly be a slower process. Homeland Security and green card operations are included here, though DHS’ e-verify program - the thing that checks on the immigration status of job applicants - will no longer operate.
NASAwill furlough most of its employees. Essential mission control operations and employees will continue, but the vast majority of NASA employees are going home - and I do mean home, because NASA’s on-site housing for employees is being shut down.
The military stops receiving paychecks. While the million and a half members of the US Armed Services stay on duty, they won’t get paid until after the shutdown.
The postal service continues as normal.
The federal court system stops. According to The Guardian, the federal courts would operate as normal for about 10 days before they have to start sending people home.
The NIH screeches to a halt. That includes accepting new patients for clinical research, as well as answering medical questions on their hotline.
The CDC will stop its seasonal flu program. According to the Washington Post, it will also have “a significantly reduced capacity to respond to outbreak investigations.”
HUDwill no longer be able to provide local housing authorities with vouchers. So if you live in government-subsidized housing, your status is very much up in the air.
Parks and museums will close. Yosemite, Alcatraz, Yellowstone, the Smithsonian, the Library of Congress, the Statue of Liberty, and about 400 other locations will close - though interestingly, the Southern Rim of the Grand Canyon will remain open, because the state of Arizona is picking up the bill.
The EPA will shut down. The only thing that stays open at the EPA during a government shutdown is its operations around Superfund sites.
OSHA will shut down.
Social Security will be partially defunded. Social Security, as an entitlement, will remain open enough to keep the checks going out, but will lose enough staff that they won’t be able to schedule new hearings.
VA Benefits will be cut. VA hospitals remain open, but that’s about it - and if the shutdown lasts longer than a few weeks, the Department of Veterans Affairs has said that it might not have enough money to pay disability claims and pensions.
This is by no means an exhaustive list, but hopefully it gives everyone a pretty good idea of what we’re going to be looking at over the next few days, weeks, or (god forbid) months.
Feel free to send me an ask with any questions you have, and I’ll answer them to the best of my ability.
I need feminism because a woman has to stand for 13 hours, can not eat, can not drink, can not stop speaking, can not relieve herself, and can not have assistance with a back brace just to prove to a group of predominantly men that we need our reproductive rights.
please spread this like wildfire guys im begging you we still need over 90,000 signatures if tumblr can reblog a post 500,000 times for a fluffy chicken, we can reblog this 90,000 times in snap. please please please reblog this, and thank you so much
ALRIGHT YOU GUYS DON’T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND THE MAGNITUDE OF THIS STUPIDITY
THEY ARE TRYING TO REMOVE YOUR INTERNET FREEDOM
SEE THAT REACTION GIF FOLDER? YOU’LL GET A LONGER SENTENCE THAN A RAPIST IF THEY FIND THAT SIGN THIS CRAP OR JUST TURN YOURSELF IN BECAUSE THIS IS IMPORTANT
OUR FREEDOM IS AT STAKE. OUT ACTUAL, FACTUAL FREEDOM IS UNDER THREAT AND PEOPLE ARE DOING NOTHING
THE GOVERNMENT BETRAYS YOU AT EVERY TURN AND YOU DO NOTHING AND EVEN NOW WHEN THEY TRY AND CONTROL THE MOST DIVERSE AND USEFUL MEDIUM ON THE PLANET YOU DO NOTHING WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??
THEY STILL NEED 75,399 FUCKING SIGNATURES. SIGN THIS MOTHERFUCKER. MAKE A SHIT LOAD OF EMAILS IF YOU HAVE TO. JUST FUCKING SIGN IT. MOTHERFUCKER YOU ARE AT RISK HERE. EVERYONE IS.